I have been thinking about how people, even Christians, tend to spend most of their lives being simultaneously proud and deceived.
How we quote a few Bible verses, intended to bring someone else under conviction (never us!) and think that that establishes our bona fides as a spiritually mature person!
How we find a program that works for us, like I have found Weight Watchers, and then develop an “us vs. them” mentality that leads us to look down our noses at the South Beach Diet guys, while they look down their noses at us.
How we simplistically divide the whole world into two types of people, then spend an inordinate amount of energy defending the superiority of our group in comparison to the other artificial group we have constructed!
I know, off the top of my head, that I don’t have to go far on the Internet or in person to find someone who will defend the idea that:
1) all good Christian moms should breastfeed
2) all good Christian parents should homeschool
3) all good Christian parents should have their children in private Christian schools
4) all good Christian parents should have their children in public schools in order to witness to the non-Christians around them
5) Etc., etc., etc.
You see how it is. People find a pet cause or conviction in life, which is great, but they then try to apply it to everyone else, which is not so great.
<lowers voice to a whisper> A really good cause will sell itself and gain followers without us having to guilt people into joining it. If you are having trouble selling people on the advantage of joining your particular homeschooling group, you might look at the quality of what you have to offer (we always had a “wait list” for our homeschool support group and co-op, as Terri Walter and Jean Robbins, who started the groups, knew their pedagogical material well and knew how to lead other parents toward professionalism in their teaching!).
What I am learning as I am now into my seventh month of maintaining my weight after a 110 pound weight loss last year is that:
1) I don’t know everything and a little humility goes a long way.
2) I am able to identify experts in any area (in this case, people who have also lost large amounts of weight and have kept it off for years). Once I have identified these people, I need to listen to them.
3) I can learn from anybody, but I need to find the areas where that person is an expert and listen intently in those areas.
4) I have a huge tendency now that I don’t impulse eat anymore to go to the other extreme and be overly regimented about food and my food tracker (if that is possible, and I believe it is). That can come across as very proud and self-satisfied to people who are struggling with weight issues. I need to be aware of that. Not that I can do much to change someone’s perception if they are determined to think I am a proud person, but a bit of self-awareness goes a long way in not creating problems from my end of things.
5) I would rather struggle with being overly regimented with my tracker than struggle with impulse eating and having 110 extra pounds on my frame. I have always said this struggle, for me, was about getting healthy. I am the healthiest I have ever been in my adult life right now. That should give me lots more years to figure out how to not be so regimented with my tracker . . . <smile>
6) Everyone on the planet needs grace. Even when they belong to “that other group of mothers who did not breastfeed” <giggle>.
Seriously, folks, we only have one chance to go through this life. Let’s not make it so hard on the folks around us, okay? God gives us lots of grace. We can afford to give a bit of it away to someone whom we don’t personally find to be heroic!
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