Archive | April, 2014

Nights in Rodanthe Redacted . . .

29 Apr

I have been watching Nicholas Sparks movies this week, largely due to a 4-pack that was being sold for one low price at F.Y.E. last week.

I can see the progress from his older movies, A Walk to Remember and Message in a Bottle to his megahit The Notebook.

Then there is Nights in Rodanthe . . .

It is a very atmospheric movie and quite lovely.

However, at this point, Sparks knew that his novels would be turned into movies, didn’t he?  He seems to have written Rodanthe with that in mind.

I see at least four old movies merging in the Rodanthe plot:

1) The theme of strangers getting to know each other in a storm (Key Largo).  Or for other movies where strangers are thrown together in extremis, Bus Stop and Stagecoach.     Life is a journey–we get that.

2) The theme of a man and a woman sharing a house unexpectedly, with sparks flying at first, then becoming sparks of a different kind (The Goodbye Girl).  Bonus round:  both of those movies involve women who have been abandoned and have trust issues.

3) The theme of a couple, finding in each other their perfect mate, only to have one of them die in a humanitarian effort (Love is a Many-Splendored Thing and South Pacific).

4) The theme of love transcending death (The Ghost and Mrs. Muir).

Beautiful movie and I will never forget the house which really stands in Rodanthe, but . . . this one is a combination of satisfying old movies.  It hits all the right places in the heart because it has all been done before.

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Shame, Part II

29 Apr

Shame, Part II

I used to love this song by Sonny Bono when I was a teen.

I think all of us occasionally face people in life whose way of gaining control involves mocking others.

It may not even be a personal thing.  It so often is not.  That person feels so diminished, so voiceless that she mocks someone else for the attention it brings!

Or . . . someone can honestly hate something about us that is not evil.  She just hates our laugh, or the way we stand, or the way we bounce up and down when we get excited . . .

Whatever that characteristic is that gains us mockery, if we are not sinning, we need to just let the mockery go.  It doesn’t diminish us.  It diminishes the person who sees the need to be a mocker.  People get that.  Oh, yes they do.

I was stunned not long ago when someone who has been a close friend for years made an age joke at my expense in front of a crowd of people.  In fact, I was so stunned, I asked for clarification.  And, yes, it really was about 55-year-olds acting in an “age appropriate way.”

Just what is that?, one might ask.  Her take was that we should be slow and sedate.  At least slower and more sedate than I am, apparently.

Well.

I don’t think, with my tendency toward ADHD, that is gonna happen.  And I don’t think I am gonna try to conjure it up to please my friend and her definition of age appropriate behavior.

Sometimes ya just gotta let it go.

I trust that anyone in that crowd who laughed at me will reconsider when they see me living in integrity toward them, despite the jokes at my expense.

If not, mockery can function as an awfully good filter, to show you who your true friends are!!!

 

Shame, Part I

29 Apr

Shame can happen over one of two things, shame for who we are or shame for what we have done.

When we say that shame is a bad thing, we have to differentiate between those two causes.

Shame is indeed bad , and debilitating, when it is over who we are.  It can also often be used as a method of control by others when we are subject to shame over our identity, over “who I am.”

Shame over “what I have done”, however, can be very appropriate and very restorative.  Acknowledging something rotten we have done–owning it–can be a step on the pathway to getting right with God.

I aim to never, ever cause a person shame for who she is.  But the older I get, the less likely I am to hold back about rotten deeds. This is especially true if I can be fairly sure that there will not be reprisals for calling someone out, although that should not be my primary concern either.

Today, for example, while my husband and I were out walking, we had to cross a major road at the time of the day that buses were picking up high school kids.  Three buses were stopped up the road from us, all headed away from us, all with their pick up lights on. Happy to see that I could cross the road without oncoming traffic, I hurried toward it.

But, no!  Someone had to bypass the law and come at me, past three stopped schoolbuses.  I had to wait for him to get by or I would have been hit myself.  Jerk!

I believe I actually had my index finger in the air, pointing at those three stopped buses.  I know the man could see my mouth moving, even though he could not hear me through his rolled up window.  I didn’t stop yelling at him until he had passed by.  Not name-calling.  Not condemning who he is.  But condemning what he had done. To save a minute, he had run the risk of hitting a student getting on a bus.  Or me!

That is appropriate shaming and that would have been appropriate shame, had he felt it.  Maybe he did.  Maybe the next time he wants to drive past a stopped schoolbus, he will remember the 55-year-old lady pointing at him in his selfishness.  That would be good.

After all, I have been told I have gotten very good at delivering “the look.”

May I always deliver it for what someone has done; never for what he is.

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I Am a Daddy’s Girl and I Like How My Daddy Sings, Too . . .

29 Apr

I Am a Daddy’s Girl and I Like How My Daddy Sings, Too . . .

 

A heartwarming story . . .

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When Paperbacks were the New Innovation . . .

29 Apr

When Paperbacks were the New Innovation . . .

Fascinating history of the printed word . . .

My Wife Has Tattoos: Marriage, New Birth, and the Gospel

27 Apr

Awesome blog post about one special marriage!

Unspoken

Image Photo credit: Todd Balsley

by Spencer Harmon

Today is the day of my wedding.  And I am not marrying the girl of my dreams.

If you would have told me when I was a teenager that my wife would have seven tattoos, a history in drugs, alcohol, and attending heavy metal concerts, I would have laughed at you, given you one of my courtship books, and told you to take a hike.  My plans were much different, much more nuanced with careful planning, much more clean-cut, and much more, well, about me.

You see, it wasn’t my dream to marry a girl that was complicated.  I never dreamed that I would sit on a couch with my future wife in pre-marital counseling listening to her cry and tell stories of drunken nights, listing the drugs she used, confessing mistakes made in past relationships.

This isn’t my dream – it’s better.

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When Pastors Fall Into Sin . . .

26 Apr

When Pastors Fall Into Sin . . .

 

As thorough and Biblical a treatment as I have seen . . .

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