God Holds on When We are Sinking . . .

13 Aug

Psalm 102:4, “I said, O my God, take me not away in the midst of my days: thy years are throughout all generations.”

I just found this verse today, but it certainly could have applied six years ago when I spent my summer going through chemotherapy for breast cancer. I wasn’t afraid to die and go be with Jesus. I just thought that 49 might have been a little young . . .

I claim my subsequent recovery from breast cancer as an Ebenezer stone in my life. You know what those are? From the Old Testament. The Jews left a pile of stones which ended up being called Ebenezer stones by the River Jordan to remind them that “thus far hath the Lord helped us.” They figured, rightly so, that a God who helped them miraculously cross a river at flood stage was not going to drop them on their heads afterwards.

I remind myself of God’s faithfulness very often in just that way.

He allowed me to beat cancer.

He has allowed Noel and me to raise a child with autism and to find a secondary school for him to be educated in the horticulture trade.

So many times in life when things looked bleak, God came through for me.

I am not about to get dropped on my head now.

So we are praying for some serious financial intervention to pay for Joey’s school, which is up to almost $40,000 a year (three year institution).

When things are normal, we should be able to afford this. But four of five things are not normal right now:

1) I am not working and have not worked since December 1 last year. I don’t want a handout, I want a job.

2) We have been delayed in starting our son on SSI (social security for disabled citizens) for over a year. We filed for it when he first went off to school *last August. As of today, they are claiming they can’t make a clear determination of disability without an examination by their own doctor (now that our son has just returned to Wisconsin, they want this examination to take place in Virginia, where we filed). We gave them the names of his three doctors a year ago, along with permission to get his records from them. Yeah, that! It feels like they just want to drag their feet long enough to see whether ordinary people will get discouraged and go away.

3) We have been delayed in settling some other financial issues that seemed easy to settle a year ago.

4) We have investments that are supposed to mature right about now. They, too, are not available just yet.  The timing is just a bit off, but we are noticing right now because of these other things.  

Our only good news right now is that Noel’s job is chugging right along. He is not only a great financial planner, but a financial planner in the U.S. with a British accent. Seems to be a plus.

All that said, I had a talk with the Lord yesterday and reiterated that I trust Him. I would trust Him even if we ended up taking Joey out of school. But I don’t think it is going to come to that. We have had many struggles in life. I don’t believe He requires that *everything be a struggle. We do have to have faith, though. And to hold on . . .

And even if we let go and start to sink in the stormy waves, He is still there to hold us, to hold us up! Amen!

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