In reading and writing about an attitude of gratitude this Christmastime, I saw something very interesting that was written about estranged relationships (and, no, I don’t remember who wrote it, but this is a paraphrase, not a quote so I will go with it . . .).
The writer said that, at year’s end, we may look back and see some relationships/friendships that we used to have that have ended.
We grieve those.
But they also show us that we had a deep, real relationship with that person in the past because if we only had superficial relationships all life long, we would not only never grieve for lost relationships, we would not even miss them!
I like that way of looking at it.
And I will add that, before we do this assessment, and move on, we had best make sure that our own conscience is clear about not causing the end of that relationship. If we caused it to end, we owe someone an apology, whether or not the relationship ever is renewed.
And then, even if the other person chose to walk away from us, with 100% of the responsibility for the relationship ending, did we at least try to fix things from our end? Did we tell the person we missed her and try to reconnect? If so, our consciences are clear and we need to realize that people will walk away from us all life long, even after deep, real friendships. It just happens.
Grieve it, move on, be older and wiser.
Life on a fallen planet it like that.