“DEAR ABBY: I am almost 30, and when we have family get-togethers several times a year, it seems like they make a point to leave me out of pictures. My mom and sister lost quite a bit of weight recently, and my brothers and cousin are attractive people. It seems like they’re trying to keep the “fat one” out of the photo, and it hurts my feelings.
Recently, a cousin came into town and made copies of two excellent pictures of my mom and sister and posted them online. Again, I was not included. What should I do? I am depressive anyway, and these obvious oversights are upsetting me. — LEFT OUT IN TENNESSEE
DEAR LEFT OUT: Talk with your mother and sister to confirm if what you suspect is happening is true. It’s possible your mother and sister are so proud of their weight loss they want to show it off. (There are ways to pose family members in photographs so their weight isn’t apparent.) As to the visiting cousin, there may be such a marked change in their appearance that he/she thought it was worth posting on the Internet.
A problem with depression is that quietly brooding solves nothing, and it often causes people to overeat. Because your depression is chronic, please consider discussing it with your health care provider because interventions are available.”
Amazing letter, this!
I would never, in a million years, have thought that I should look around when someone is taking my picture to document my weight loss to see who is not in the picture.
It is easy, from my side of things, to think that this letter writer is just oversensitive.
But we all feel left out of events sometimes . . . often for the strangest reasons.
Probably there are no answers that fit every person or every situation.
But we can be compassionate with each other, even when the other is unreasonable, or seems to be.
Christlikeness goes a long way toward helping us grow in community!
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