“I Am not a Human Garbage Disposal . . .”

13 Oct

Have you ever said those words?

As the mother of a special needs child, I admit I have.  He has often felt he needed to vent the negativity he feels (both because of his disability and the things he cannot do, but also as an aspect of it–one of the symptoms of OCD seems to be a constant 24/7 bath in negativity).  

Yet I am here to say that most of us cannot function for long as human garbage disposals.

God did not create us to do that.  We break down.  And then you have a special needs child with a broken down, non-functional parent/support system.  Not good. 

It seems unfair and counterintuitive, but we need to tell people “no” when we have had enough of their negativity for a while.  We need to tell them “no” for our own sake and for theirs.  

They may feel they have nowhere else to go to talk.  So be it.  

Maybe they will learn to be less negative in future discussion.  It would be nice to hear the parts where life is good, too.  I know those parts exist.

But if not, even if they end up muddling through, the best they can, without our listening ears, we still need to remove our ears from their stream of negativity when we can no longer bear it.  Or long before that. 

You see, no one has the right to claim another person as his human garbage disposal.  

If someone is asking that from you, whether your child, your spouse, or a friend, say “no.” They are asking you to play a role in their life that only God can successfully play.  

I understand you are responsible to keep minor children safe.  But you do not have to listen to their garbage.  

And, with adults, you may freely walk away for a while.

Don’t end the relationship, just end the human garbage disposal role.  God does not require that of you.   

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