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No One Wants to be on the Outside Looking In . . .

12 Oct

No One Wants to be on the Outside Looking In . . .

I am convinced that the normal human heart has two impulses: 1) a quest for adventure and excitement and 2) a quest to belong and to be loved.

Many of us can describe times we felt like we were on the outside looking in and . . . those stories are usually poignant and full of sadness.

All human beings want to belong . . .

That said, we all have different comfort levels for how much togetherness we wish to have with others. As long as we can find a level of companionship that matches the desires of our hearts, we are good.

I remember watching the television show Roseanne, back in the day, and thinking how wonderful it must be to have a next door neighbor who is such a good friend that she just walks into your house several times a day . . .

But, in truth, I am not quite there in my need for togetherness. I have often said that, even if my best friend lived next door, I would probably see her no more than once a week. I truly believe that.

I have, on occasion in this Navy town, had a good friend who lived near enough to my house to walk back and forth between homes. In those cases, we saw each other . . . about once a week. But they were good days. I do miss that, as every friend I have is now at least a short drive away.

I do love it when I see friends who live near extended family and end up at each other’s homes several times a week. I tend to miss my own parents and siblings when I see families like this, yet we have managed to find our own level of togetherness with visits involving 16 hour drives across two or three states!

Nowadays, I tend to socialize at my church and Bible study, and at group activities organized by friends there. I do the more intense one-on-one activities about once a month these days. Life has gotten hectic and has made one-on-one time precious!

And it’s all good. Life has been full so far and seems like it will remain so.

It changes, and so do we.

A question for my readers: What is your current level of companionship with friends outside of your family? Do you find yourself wanting more companionship than you have? Do you ever find yourself, as an adult, still feeling like you are on the outside looking in?

Maybe we can discuss this here.

Another question is for those of us who have lived away from our hometown for a very long time. How many of us who have set up the kitchen (central room) in our own home find that it is nothing like the one in our parents’ home?

I admit, that is true of me. My sister’s kitchen is just like my mom’s. Mine, not so much.

When we moved into this, our first home, it was a Navy move. We did not have close friends here at the time. I never learned till years later that most people repaint before they move in and that many recarpet, too. We didn’t paint for years and have only ever replaced the carpet in one room. Yet we survived . . .

I have gotten some of my kitchen arranging/decorating ideas from friends here, often from Pampered Chef/Tupperware parties I have attended.

Most of all, I have gotten my recent upgrading and decorating ideas for the kitchen from Southern Living and Martha Stewart Living. There is a place for the input of publications, especially in this Pinterest era!!!

Sometimes I wonder if I should wish to have a kitchen that more resembles those of my mom and sister. But usually I think we will be just fine . . .

God is good!

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One Response to “No One Wants to be on the Outside Looking In . . .”

  1. Jennifer October 12, 2013 at 7:00 PM #

    As an adult I fell the loneliness part more often than I care to admit. It seemed I had those friends who I could stop over at any time then life happened and we all moved. I haven’t found those friendships since. I often wonder if I am looking too hard. Most days my life if filled but it is the others…our kitchen? We have a Duck Dynasty kitchen: all are welcome and more gather!

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