Ladies’ Thursday: The Moodier Gender

4 Oct

Romans 12:18: If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.

Now that I have faked out all the guys who might have read this to see what I was saying to ladies, I am going to level with you. I think men are the moodier gender.

That is what some of you expected, didn’t you? But the men wouldn’t have seen that coming at all.

I am married to a man. I am the mother of an adult male who still lives with us. I work with almost all men (military base). I have lots of male friends. I am 54 years old and . . . I stand by my statement, after being a student of human nature for over half a century. Men are the moodier gender.

That being said, we women get to choose what to do when the men in our lives get moody.

If it is an immediate thing, like a husband having a meltdown (or giving the silent treatment), we get to choose whether to engage or withdraw. A lot of our response may have to do with our age. The older we get, the more we can see when the other person’s mood has nothing to do with us. When we are younger, we tend to take things personally. We may even try to get affirmation from our husband when he is in a mood. Not a good thing, that.

Yet we can persist in bad habits. This morning I knew my husband was anticipating an all-day training session (read: more pain than a root canal, ha ha!). When he came downstairs “in a mood,” I knew exactly what was going on. Yet when he yelled, I yelled back, even louder. I didn’t need to do that. Wisdom would have suggested otherwise.

Thankfully, a box of 50 Starbucks Caffe Verona K-cups that he had brought me last night soon convinced me to lay my weapon down and go constructively on with our morning. Sometimes a gift of good coffee is all the bribe it takes.

I suggest we sidestep the moodiness when it has nothing to do with us. Of course, when there are real interpersonal issues, they do need to be discussed and worked out Biblically. Maybe just not now.

So, to review: if you and your husband or another moody man in your life have a real issue, tackle it. But wait for an appropriate time.

If the moody man in your life is just blowing off steam and you happen to be standing there at the time, it is probably better to overlook the offense.

Next, if you decide to overlook the offense in person, your next decision is whether to plaster it all over Facebook/social media or to just keep it to yourself. In most cases, I suggest the latter, unless you are prepared to make it a laugh at yourself as I just did with my story. There is very little to be gained by publicly hazing your man on Facebook, Google+, and especially Youtube.

Moodiness is endemic in the male gender. And . . . that fact is not well-known among men, so they feel silly admitting it when they are moody. As Christian wives, mothers, and sisters, we can help them minimize their moodiness. We just need to be wise.

Disclaimer: these words obviously do not apply to a situation where domestic abuse is occurring. That woman (or man) needs help and we should all help, with compassion.

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